4/14

              

Curled up in bed sick with everything the boys had last week but thankful.. 

186 / healthy boys 

187 / last minute photo shoot complete 

188 / I made it in time for the beautiful birth of my friends son 

189 / LOTS of fresh milk and our first egg from the new hens 

190 / a new real skate deck for my little shredder and celebrating 7 years of his life 

“Darkness can not defeat light.” 

4/9

   

       

Looking for the silver lining in our third sick day and a week worth of plans shot. I was meant to be at the hospital today helping a friend labor but find myself instead cleaning up vomit intermittent with making chicken noodle soup and administering any aid I can. Canceled photo shoot two weeks in a row due to weather while the work load gets higher and higher (along with the water in my basement). 

In all though I feel blessed and encouraged this week, despite the circumstances. What gets you through rainy days (literal and figurative?). Collin after saying “this is the wowst day evew” asked if we could watch a movie together tonight. I think it’s a plan. 

181 / homemade coffee honey coconut oil latte (blend with cream or milk till frothy) 

182 / clean bedding 

183 / rain 

184 / wild grapevine swings 

185 / new curtains and shined plant leaves

ps. A friend sent me this article on Love and I thought I’d share. A few, ok, all of these hit a little close to home. Relationships are so hard and I’m not even in one! 

4/7

              

Tea in hand listening to a storm rolling through and reflecting on the past week. My boys have been home sick the last two days and I’m enjoying the slow pace it has brought us.

We celebrated a birthday with friends. Pie and campfires several days in a row. The kids are almost too big for the nesting boxes they adopted as their beds. I’ve been surprised they’ve already been nibbling grass and between the two of them haven’t been able to keep up with ladys’ production. I’ve already milked nearly two gallons! It’s not sweet yet from the spring wild onions so I’ll take it to a local soap maker to trade for oils and other things we need.

I’ve been impatiently waiting for my newest batch of 8 hens to start laying. Waiting is something I’m thinking on a lot recently. I’m terrible at being present and struggle to not always feel like I’m ‘waiting’ for life to begin. Silly when I think about it and the reality of how lovely everyday can be but that’s my struggle. So I sit in it and attempt to fight back reflecting on all the things I have to be grateful for today.

176 / Extra cuddles with my boys.

177 / The smell of a campfire.

178 / A soothing storm.

179 / Psalm 27.

180 / Hope.

 

3/30

        

Playing | with these kids. 

Enjoying | Simple breakfast on warmer mornings. 

Wearing | layers of linen and looking forward to a fun shoot this week with Covet + Lou

Watching | My nanny care for her kids.  Ethereal instincts.

3/25

                    

Thank you all for the kind comments on my last post. I know there’s a lot of negative repercussions from such a decisiom but I appreciate the kindness and support that comes from being believed in.  

Just wanted to share a little of what we’ve been up to. It’s been a really busy and full winter, far different from ones in the past. We managed to stay really active between joining the gym to teaching the boys how to snowboard/ski to climbing at the new rock gym that opened in town. My body has been consistently sore for months and the boys have had a blast learning new things. 

In no particular order: Grateful  

Morning robes cacao. 

Seasons first smores.

Lady with her couple hour old bucklings. 

Tristans’ first skin tear at the climbing gym (proud mom). 

What happens if I ask Collin to try NOT to smile.

Home. 

Rescuing one of my young pullets from being lost in the woods.  

Shooting a new line of linens for my shop.

Kid kisses (I can’t get enough of these two).

Almost done with marathon training and really ready for it to be over! I’m glad for the experience and the mental distraction it’s been this winter but I’ve dealt with many injuries. 

Internet pt. 2

                  

I knew during that sleepless night of scattered ramblings I’d have to follow up but wasn’t sure when or about what. The day this article came out it seemed so fitting for my point. As I scrolled through the images and was taken back to that day/season we shot them. It was a dark time that left me reeling in confusion and pain. They were taken the day before I started packing up our belongings to move for the sixth time in eight years. Each of those moves a result of circumstance outside my control. Thankfully we’ve landed in a place that finally feels more indefinite. My point isn’t to say these pictures aren’t real or authentic, they are. That was my home and a place I invested countless amounts of hours making beautiful and comfortable for our lifestyle. I’m proud of that and honored to have such a feature. I spent some time studying interior design when I was younger and have always had a bent toward the power of aesthetic and feng shui. I think different personalities are much more impacted by their surroundings than others and mine definitely is. I find I’m able to concentrate better and creativity flows more freely. But now I’m getting off track. The point is there’s always so much more than what the eye can see. I wish that everyone could keep that in mind as they browse the contents of the internet.

So I’ve continued to ask myself where the balance lies. Is the answer deleting and going full Wendell Berry. Well, possibly but I want to try one more thing first. I’ve engaged on social media going on 5 years. Starting with my tumblr and growing consistently from there. It was never something I worked for or even wanted it felt more like it got dropped in my lap. I have had some amazing opportunities through the influence but also many negatives. I used to say when the bad outweighed the good that’s when I would quit. Finding myself last year completely burnt out I knew something would have to change or I’d have to stop. Even answering emails or just updating became such a burden I’ve had to go for long periods of time completely away in order to cope with it. I get asked constantly for promotions and little collaborations that while fun and rewarding in a material sense they don’t pay my bills. Thus taking away time from my family and priorities without offering anything of value to me in return. So here I type fully aware I’m one hundred percent burnt out of my social media presence. I’ve invested years of my life into something that hasn’t given back in ways I find worth it. I’ve fought and wrestled the idea for a long time of monetizing but always felt it would be a sell out in some way. Recently it occurred to me that would no more be the case than me getting an office job. There’s nothing wrong with it! It’s not exactly “me” but it’s necessary in some ways. Advertising is important, advice and inspiration are all important. So this is the start of me embarking on a journey to find balance and make keeping these spaces alive worth it in a way that doesn’t take away from the care of myself and family but rather adds. I don’t know exactly what it will look like but I hope it will be a good change.

 

photos by Whitney Neal

 

In the gray 



Finding myself searching for little rays of light and hope at the end of this season. In the chores and the nesting and the everyday routine I’m growing to appreciate this new space more than I could have ever imagined.

Waiting on ladys’ baby. 

Snuggles with my “five and a HALF” year old baby. 

Treats and the note that earned it. 

Fresh batch of ceramics from the kiln. These little hands are already so precious to me. 

A visit from a dear friend. 

Checking in on the airstream. 

Getting settled.  

My alarm clock. A solid black roo that was supposed to be an Americana. 

Internet Pt. 2 (coming soon 

Internet pt. 1

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What was meant to be a week turned into three and the question “if ever”. I found that my recent time away from the Internet was everything and more than I hoped for the past year it would be. I know these spaces won’t last forever and as life for us (my boys and I) continues to take on new tones Ive began to feel as if I’m outgrowing my Internet spaces. Maybe I just don’t need it or maybe it’s the not completely realistic connections that make me uncomfortable or the pictures painted that don’t say everything they should because they can’t? The walls of the cyber world seem endless but I think they actually limit us (think 15″ silver boxes). We lose touch with faces and expressions that help us read between the lines of familiar voices. We “think” we’re connected and happy yet often forgoing actual connectedness for a substitute that feels safer because we can hide behind a screen with tear stained cheeks and post a picture of a happy time as if it was current. But now I’m rambling. My friends know this conversation with me well and it leaves me often feeling like the odd one out. Maybe I’m just that but I know this for sure my work to invest in myself, my community, the people around me and my life has paid off in a real way. I don’t need to be here and maybe I’ll go or maybe I won’t but the important thing for me is knowing I’m not defined by a social media presence and if it was gone tomorrow I wouldn’t be broke.

As Whitman once said:

“Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself.”

Creative/Sacred Space

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Today was really lovely. I haven’t been taking many pictures lately so I thought I’d share these from the pottery studio this afternoon.

The boys glazed their hands and the mugs they each pulled with me. I finished some pieces for myself that I’m excited for.

Rewarding hobby, I always leave feeling so inspired by this space. Something I intend to make more time for.

Peace.