Because today is one of those days where perspective shifted just right leaving me desperately hopeful. Circumstances unchanged but heart so full of love and joy. It’s these little things. A silver lining, a euphoric moment that is bound to be gone soon. But because it made it’s appearance today, I stood in an open field arms stretched wide wind whipping my hair and raising bumps on my skin. The sounds surrounding something of a fairy tail. The distant sunset leaving it’s traces of light across the darkening sky. This is utter and complete bliss my heart so full it wants to burst. Nothing but thankfulness for this gift of today for the break from the heaviness of life.
sipping coffee over the new SPACES from Frankie Magazine. They graciously sent me a copy to enjoy and I certainly am. So much inspiration in these pages.
Soaking up these summer days.
Filling orders and feeling grateful for this old faithful machine.
Dreaming of vacation next week!
Thank you all for the kind responses on yesterdays post. I know it was heavy and I hesitated to post for a long time. Those things are all just part of my story and past, they don’t define my day to day like they once did. But time to time those memories creep back up and need to make their way out. I know because of our broken and messed up world it’s never “safe” to share hard things but I did it because I know so many people can relate and it’s always good to know we’re not alone in the struggle to become whole. So thank YOU all for being safe landing ears for the rough emotions that surfaced this weekend. Glad I can share my life and the freedom I’ve found.
I remember you holding me in church with your black suit and my white dress.
I remember when you closed the car door too fast and gave me that scare I still have on my knee.
I remember dumping your case of beer down a hole in our porch because I wanted to help you so bad.
I remember your belt.
I remember you drank milk and orange juice, your favorite orange slice candy and that you liked caramel apples.
I remember you liked skipping rocks.
I remember climbing on the counter in yours and moms bathroom and finding needles above the vanity.
I remember waking up from a nap and finding a sherif on the porch talking to mom and that her head was leaning on a friends shoulder.
I remember wondering what was wrong.
I remember sneaking downstairs and finding my last letter from you in moms file cabinet and reading it over and over late at night.
I remember crying myself to sleep more than not.
I remember wondering what you’d say to me now if you had the chance.
I remember the stories that helped me piece together your life and death.
I remember the nick names they said you called me.
I remember visiting your grave and weeping over the stone that says “our love goes with you”.
I remember when that letter disappeared for 15 years and came back to me and how I wept over your words again as a grown woman.
I remember when a therapist told me you’re the only man I’ve ever emotionally connected with explaining why I always miss you so much.
I remember wondering if you’d be proud even through the mess I’ve made.
I remember wondering if you could have protected me.
I remember the first time I realized you’re with my little girl and how happy that made me. I hope you call her your princess too and know I named her after your mom who I also miss dearly.
I remember the first time I read a piece of poetry you wrote for your sister and how much I treasured those beautiful words.
I remember the first time I saw a video of you and heard your voice. how much I cried and cried and loved that you were telling mom
how much I loved dogs even as a baby.
I remember turning six and you being gone.
All my love,
I’ve wanted to touch on what we did in Haiti since I returned in January but haven’t been able to find the words to describe the process. This week we got an email from a dear lady honestly inquiring about Fait La Force and how Josh and Chandler work with artists in Haiti. I forwarded the email to Chandler and loved her response. Just wanted to share it here for anyone who might also have the same questions.
My name is Chandler, I helped launch the brand Fait La Force and my husband and I run an artisan co-op in Haiti called Haiti Design Co-op. The short answer is- Fait La Force is a brand in the states that partners with different artisan groups across Haiti to create new designs, bring more technical training to the groups, and bring their products to the marketplace. For this collaboration with Bekah, we worked with the sewing group of the artisan co-op that my husband and myself run. Bekah came and taught new techniques to our seamstresses and designed a collection for our group to produce. We had a lot fun, the artisans learned a ton, and it has been a great way to give our ladies (and a couple gentlemen) more work all while increasing their abilities.
The longer version- My husband and I have been working with artisans in Haiti the past 5 years and living here full time in Port au Prince for the past two. We are in love with this country and its people and have come to see how much potential the artisan market has here. We are passionate about creating sustainable economic development through job creation. I have a background in design and retail merchandising and have always been in love with the artisan culture here. Our artisan co-op began about 6 years ago as a small women’s sewing class through a ministry we previously worked for and over the years developed into a full-on women’s artisan program. This past december we launched Fait La Force in the states as a way to bring our artisan’s products, and the products of other groups we work with in Haiti, to the marketplace.
We were so excited this past January to be able to bring Bekah down to come and teach our group new designs and techniques. The artisans loved her and we hope we are able to do another collaboration in the future.
As far as what we officially are- Fait La Force is a socially conscious business. We really are so much more than fair trade. Our artisans are like family and Haiti is our home. Building genuine relationships and a sustainable business is our “mission” so to speak and we pray it continues to grow and create more jobs on this island we love.
If you have any more questions I’d be happy to answer them. Thanks for reaching out!
All the best,
(Weather it’s personal experience or someone close I think just about everyone can relate to knowing someone in the throws of an abusive relationship. This book is a really informative resource to dispel some of the myths and patterns.)
Loving. The birth story of Emily and Tims little Brave.
Enjoying. Goat milk caramels from Big Picture Farm, a favorite treat.
Sharing. Some thoughts on life and motherhood on MotherMag today.
Sporting. Lots of vintage denim these days and worn in tshirts.
Focusing. This moment here and now being faithful and content in the small mundane things of life. Snuggling littles, building forts, tending animals, sewing/mending…
Quote (shared by a friend via instagram). “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” -Melody Beattie
One day at a time, one foot in front of another. The theme lately and constant reminder to myself to keep moving forward, looking for the little glimpses of beauty in the chaos of everyday.
Today started off so perfectly. Woke up 30 minutes later than my normal 6:15. The boys slept late from an evening with friends yesterday. My morning reading was especially encouraging and my heart feels so full from just finishing one of my favorite books Bringing It to the Table by Wendell Berry. I let the chicks out and made sure everyone was fed and watered still in my house robe and the grass wet from last nights storm. When I came in and sat down with my coffee and reads the thunder and lightening began again. I don’t know a more perfect combination.
The boys are awake now and just finishing up their favorite pancakes and bacon. I made an extra cup of coffee and am looking forward to a day of just being home. Lately my thoughts have been on the idea of home and what it means for me to be a good steward of this place and time. The phrase though misused has been floating in my head “keeper of home”. Thinking through my purpose here and now and staying focused on the seasons of life.
Today I feel content. Full of the blessings (even the boys fighting in the background) and all that has become part of my day to day.
Happy Mothers Day weekend to all who in one way or another share in the joys of motherhood.
p.s. Use the code “mothers” for 20% off in my shop through midnight May 11. getting ready to launch some new things Monday!