Internet pt. 1

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What was meant to be a week turned into three and the question “if ever”. I found that my recent time away from the Internet was everything and more than I hoped for the past year it would be. I know these spaces won’t last forever and as life for us (my boys and I) continues to take on new tones Ive began to feel as if I’m outgrowing my Internet spaces. Maybe I just don’t need it or maybe it’s the not completely realistic connections that make me uncomfortable or the pictures painted that don’t say everything they should because they can’t? The walls of the cyber world seem endless but I think they actually limit us (think 15″ silver boxes). We lose touch with faces and expressions that help us read between the lines of familiar voices. We “think” we’re connected and happy yet often forgoing actual connectedness for a substitute that feels safer because we can hide behind a screen with tear stained cheeks and post a picture of a happy time as if it was current. But now I’m rambling. My friends know this conversation with me well and it leaves me often feeling like the odd one out. Maybe I’m just that but I know this for sure my work to invest in myself, my community, the people around me and my life has paid off in a real way. I don’t need to be here and maybe I’ll go or maybe I won’t but the important thing for me is knowing I’m not defined by a social media presence and if it was gone tomorrow I wouldn’t be broke.

As Whitman once said:

“Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself.”

27 thoughts on “Internet pt. 1

  1. An online presence is lots of work.. You might consider the job like another child or newborn, etc.. I’ve contemplated blogging myself for journal/personal reasons and then retract in fear of getting caught up with community, etc much like your situation… The connections in our real lives are the ones that are supposed to be the important ones. And resources like our time and energy are limited as much as we wish the opposite. So being efficient is key and important. I think there are ways to still captivate an online audience by telling enough of a story and sending important messages across. I think sometimes a picture should suffice because that’s the quickest “1000 words” to evoke meaning, connection and think that keeping things light is healthier. I think about parenting a lot and know that I’m needed and this time is limited and before too soon they will be off doing their thing and my real job is there and not here. Personally, I feel as though one can speak through captured moments (pictures), but then I’m speaking as a highly intuitive and visually intelligent. And to nurture your own soul, one needs breaks and cannot be constantly tied to these screens or even many having many friends. Doing so only takes away from what we have in our real space which is the most important space. It’s what’s in front of you, that present moment you should not allow to be stollen. These seconds of life we live are precious and need to be in a good healthy balance that is more natural. I’m somewhat selfish and like my alone time and get very little of it between work, kids, wife, etc. Carving out time for doing “nothing time” is important because that lets us truly be ourselves. I’m all for you doing your thing and pulling the plug. As much as I love the connection with you, it means so much to me that you’re happy in real space and I wish sometimes you were one of my real friends who I could have a cup of tea with and share real times with. I’m sure all of us in the online community love you and feel the same as I do. As much as we are selfish and would miss you, we all know that life is once and whatever you do is really ok with us. I think of you much and send you off with good wishes and a little prayer.

    xo always, ryan

  2. My Selfish Self says “I will so miss her posts and photos and all the wonderful Words of Wisdom”. My Unselfish Self says “Power to Her!!” I do and have loved your site, always a beautiful oasis to come to and get inspired. There is a time and space for everything….maybe there are other things to tend to, no?

  3. I love this thinking. I have given up on social media to put more of myself into the people that surround me and support me in person. God bless you in your endeavors!

  4. I’m impressed by your eloquence, Bekah. Well said. It certainly gave me something to think about. Perhaps this lenten season will be a good time for me to take a page from your book and step away from the internet for a good long while

  5. It is a double edged sword! The opportunities of the internet (and all other forms of technology) abound, particularly for entrepreneurs. But, it comes at a price!! Life is all about balance! I wish you love and peace in your journey dear friend!

  6. I thought you would hit this point at some point as you are too real and too connected to the earth. Selfishly I want your online presence, your pics are gorgeous and I’m inspired by your food and interior design. But I completely agree with all that you said.I was telling my daughter how I hate facebook as it’s an onslaught of people pretending to be happy and that’s not real-sometimes we are happy and sometimes sad, that’s life-the ebb and the flow of it. No matter what you do I know you will be successful.

  7. Dear Bekah

    I have followed you for 3 years now, first through Tumblr. Actually your Tumblr was how I discovered ‘Tumblr’ and that was because I was laid up recovering in bed and on crutches after a traumatic injury of ripping my achilles on stage during a premier (I’m a contemporary dance artist). It was a welcome and gentle distraction. In many ways I feel exactly the same way about social media and the multiple mail accounts and devices and routes of messaging (or being bothered/interrupted) – life is so bloody busy and exhausting. And of course I so love it that people can’t contact me at home on my mobile because my semi-rural area has a crap mobile signal and only 4 people have my landline – thank Goodness! And I tend to check my Facebook every 3 or 4 months or so, occasionally re-post a Tumblr picture from the 4 I tend to occasionally look at (this includes yours). I am of an age that meant I got my first mobile phone at age 30 – my first email address at age 28, I don’t own a TV. My students are confounded and are amazed I could construct a life without these things.
    But I have to say I do love and enjoy your occasional post that arrives in my inbox – I find the thoughts and ideas that you share, and the little peek into your life very beautiful and inspiring. (I have also made your black bean brownies multiple times over.) And I agree with the comment above – for purely selfish reasons, you will be missed by me.
    To choose: the when, the what, the if, the how, the how often, the pause, the speed, the grip, the timing, the texture, the thought ……… aaah hh hh
    I live a very very long way from you and we have never met – but I am sending a wave from across the Atlantic from a metaphorical ‘sister’ (within the concept of sisterhood).
    I wish you great happiness in your life – you certainly deserve it from what I can gather.

    Warm wishes
    Rachel

  8. I’m torn with all of this myself and of course, in the end, the best thing to do is just go with your gut. I don’t want to sit at a screen any longer than I have to but at the same time, writing keeps me sane and I’ve never been able to live without it so it’s a daily battle. But still, it’s nice to see that I’m not the only one who questions these things.

  9. Hi there Bekah. You don’t know me, I’m not an active participant in this community. But I have been looking at your tumblr and reading your blog for well over a year now. A quiet, but constant observer. I just wanted to drop you a note to say that whatever it is you decide to do with these spaces, I have appreciated what you’ve done here. I look at your posts to remind myself of what is beautiful, positive, and inspiring. Sometimes it is just the spark I need to send me outside, to see the world for myself. Thank you for your work, and I wish you luck.

  10. Beautifully expressed Bekah, especially regarding the contradiction.
    My current feelings are that it comes down to (for me) being self-aware.
    If a small amount of time online is inspirational, informative, connecting, encouraging to others and beneficial for my work – fabulous!
    But if I am spending more time than is necessary online – time that would be much better spent laying on the grass with my babes watching the clouds float by, or my time online is unhealthy and comparative (and we all know what a joy stealer that is) then it is time tfor me to be aware of that and force some distance.
    I write about that with much greater ease than I actually live it out 🙂
    I am appreciative of the inspiration your online space is, but totally agree that ‘real life’, family and face-to-face community is always more important.

    Peace,
    Tara

  11. You have a gift that allows you to connect with those around you. You help and inspire those who you have never met. If you give it away in this medium, I would encourage you to embrace it somewhere else.

  12. I’d miss your posts full of grattitude and your instagram. Love the way you capture moments (and for some reason ive been trying to add this comment for weeks but it wouldnt let me login till now!

  13. Hi cousin! I love what you’re thinking! May you live life to the full… Soaking up the moments as God brings them, being fully present to the people God places around you-in real time.

  14. As I waded through 4000 emails, tried to view all the blogs I love so well and answer friends who have been waiting for weeks for email that was never viewed to be answered….thinking that I needed to attend to my own website so that it could actually be seen by someone….thinking that I needed to hurry and answer the questions of my friends…get onto facebook and do a quick “I’m happy..I’m fine…no..I have not forgotten you” posting…..(all the while thinking “Why have I become so inadequate at life?”)….your words hit home like a brick. So much so that I’ve printed and framed them for my nightstand (notice, I’m not saying “desk”)…because today…after this comment….I’m not going there. I’ll go there later…or not…….but for today, your blog is the one I am glad I made a moment for…………<3 As always, you are an inspiration of truth, realness and in your face honesty that I appreciate more than you will ever know.

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