Internet pt. 2

                  

I knew during that sleepless night of scattered ramblings I’d have to follow up but wasn’t sure when or about what. The day this article came out it seemed so fitting for my point. As I scrolled through the images and was taken back to that day/season we shot them. It was a dark time that left me reeling in confusion and pain. They were taken the day before I started packing up our belongings to move for the sixth time in eight years. Each of those moves a result of circumstance outside my control. Thankfully we’ve landed in a place that finally feels more indefinite. My point isn’t to say these pictures aren’t real or authentic, they are. That was my home and a place I invested countless amounts of hours making beautiful and comfortable for our lifestyle. I’m proud of that and honored to have such a feature. I spent some time studying interior design when I was younger and have always had a bent toward the power of aesthetic and feng shui. I think different personalities are much more impacted by their surroundings than others and mine definitely is. I find I’m able to concentrate better and creativity flows more freely. But now I’m getting off track. The point is there’s always so much more than what the eye can see. I wish that everyone could keep that in mind as they browse the contents of the internet.

So I’ve continued to ask myself where the balance lies. Is the answer deleting and going full Wendell Berry. Well, possibly but I want to try one more thing first. I’ve engaged on social media going on 5 years. Starting with my tumblr and growing consistently from there. It was never something I worked for or even wanted it felt more like it got dropped in my lap. I have had some amazing opportunities through the influence but also many negatives. I used to say when the bad outweighed the good that’s when I would quit. Finding myself last year completely burnt out I knew something would have to change or I’d have to stop. Even answering emails or just updating became such a burden I’ve had to go for long periods of time completely away in order to cope with it. I get asked constantly for promotions and little collaborations that while fun and rewarding in a material sense they don’t pay my bills. Thus taking away time from my family and priorities without offering anything of value to me in return. So here I type fully aware I’m one hundred percent burnt out of my social media presence. I’ve invested years of my life into something that hasn’t given back in ways I find worth it. I’ve fought and wrestled the idea for a long time of monetizing but always felt it would be a sell out in some way. Recently it occurred to me that would no more be the case than me getting an office job. There’s nothing wrong with it! It’s not exactly “me” but it’s necessary in some ways. Advertising is important, advice and inspiration are all important. So this is the start of me embarking on a journey to find balance and make keeping these spaces alive worth it in a way that doesn’t take away from the care of myself and family but rather adds. I don’t know exactly what it will look like but I hope it will be a good change.

 

photos by Whitney Neal

 

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Finding myself searching for little rays of light and hope at the end of this season. In the chores and the nesting and the everyday routine I’m growing to appreciate this new space more than I could have ever imagined.

Waiting on ladys’ baby. 

Snuggles with my “five and a HALF” year old baby. 

Treats and the note that earned it. 

Fresh batch of ceramics from the kiln. These little hands are already so precious to me. 

A visit from a dear friend. 

Checking in on the airstream. 

Getting settled.  

My alarm clock. A solid black roo that was supposed to be an Americana. 

Internet Pt. 2 (coming soon 

Internet pt. 1

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What was meant to be a week turned into three and the question “if ever”. I found that my recent time away from the Internet was everything and more than I hoped for the past year it would be. I know these spaces won’t last forever and as life for us (my boys and I) continues to take on new tones Ive began to feel as if I’m outgrowing my Internet spaces. Maybe I just don’t need it or maybe it’s the not completely realistic connections that make me uncomfortable or the pictures painted that don’t say everything they should because they can’t? The walls of the cyber world seem endless but I think they actually limit us (think 15″ silver boxes). We lose touch with faces and expressions that help us read between the lines of familiar voices. We “think” we’re connected and happy yet often forgoing actual connectedness for a substitute that feels safer because we can hide behind a screen with tear stained cheeks and post a picture of a happy time as if it was current. But now I’m rambling. My friends know this conversation with me well and it leaves me often feeling like the odd one out. Maybe I’m just that but I know this for sure my work to invest in myself, my community, the people around me and my life has paid off in a real way. I don’t need to be here and maybe I’ll go or maybe I won’t but the important thing for me is knowing I’m not defined by a social media presence and if it was gone tomorrow I wouldn’t be broke.

As Whitman once said:

“Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself.”

Creative/Sacred Space

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Today was really lovely. I haven’t been taking many pictures lately so I thought I’d share these from the pottery studio this afternoon.

The boys glazed their hands and the mugs they each pulled with me. I finished some pieces for myself that I’m excited for.

Rewarding hobby, I always leave feeling so inspired by this space. Something I intend to make more time for.

Peace.

Thankful

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Hoping everyone had a pleasant and safe Holiday weekend! So much has happened for us as of late. We moved (again) celebrated birthdays, feasted with family and friends, closed up the airstream for the winter and of course lots of baking! I made my favorite cookies for the first time this season and since so many people ask I thought I’d share the recipe again.

Old Fashion Gingersnaps
3/4 c butter • 1 c sugar • 1 egg • 1/4 c molasses • 2 c flour • 2 t baking soda • 2 t salt • 1 t cinnamon • 1 t cloves • 1 t ginger

Cream butter and sugar. Add egg and molasses; beat well. Sift dry ingredients and gradually add to creamed mixture. Mix well and chill dough. Roll into balls and dip in sugar. Bake 375 for about 10 minutes.

Picture worthy

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I love cleaning off my phone and finding all the odd pictures I take for myself. These are the images I often flip through at the end of the day to remember the beauty that’s always around me.

He still crawls in bed with me most nights

Pretty accidents

Lady and Banjo

A boy and a frog by Lauren Kenzie

Morning webs

His new favorite Harem pants and that morning sleepy head

Jump!

Sleeping off the stomach bug

These Boy jeans (a new favorite)

Learning to fall

S’mores for dinner

Busy

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I always forget the busy that comes with this time of year. Between canning, end of summer activities and the start of school.

A couple people have asked about my grape juice canning method. Canning grapes was a childhood tradition and one of my favorite things to preserve. The process is really simple using this Juicer Steamer It also works for making tomato and other juices but I have different methods I use for those. So far this year between pickling, jelly, grape juice, tomato’s, salsa and green beans I’ve canned over 55 quarts and my pantry is beginning to overflow. This year was another good lesson for me as I realized the joy and value in always putting in a garden even when it doesn’t seem worth the effort. We have a winters worth of food that we’ll be eating when my feet have long forgot the long hot summer days of standing in front of my pressure caner. Such a blessing. As the days are beginning to get colder I’m cleaning out the garden and getting it ready for a winter cover crop, hoping to add some nutrition to the soil for next year. I’m also planning a small fall winter harvest that I’ll protect with a a cold frame of spinach, kale, beets and garlic.

A few weekends ago I was able to take a weekend trip to Nashville to be with some of my good friends. It was far more than I expected and I came home feeling so full. From a day at the lake to visiting the studio of Elizabeth Suzann to hearing Lissie in concert.

Last week I took up pottery again at a small studio. Re teaching myself the joys of throwing and realizing how important a creative outlet is for me. So fortunate to have a sweet friend that is switching play dates every week with our youngest kids so we can have a little time to ourselves.

Lastly, overwhelmed by how quickly my youngest is growing. We spent labor day weekend with one of my dearest friends and hiked a trail at the Red River Gorge. In between carrying him on my back I couldn’t believe as I watched his lanky little body run down the trails. He’ll be five soon and I’m soaking up the moments he can still fit between my legs on the long board and cuddles up next to me wherever I’m at.

Continuing on with my gratitude log:
75. rest
76. visitors
77. pottery
78. forgiveness
79. brokenness
80. growing community

 

For Cleobella

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Earlier this year Cleobella asked if I’d be interested in doing a shoot for them. So humbled by the opportunity to wear things that normally wouldn’t come my way. I picked the Wander with Love muscle tee and paisley Kaftan (sold out). I struggle with the idea of doing these projects while wanting to maintain an authentic space. Since I don’t normally feed my goats in beautiful designer dresses I thought this was a good opportunity to combine both worlds. The one where I can bring awareness to great companies like Cleobella and the real life down to earth day to day of living in this tiny corner of my world.

My dear friend Lauren came up for a weekend visit and captured us doing our normal activities. I was brought to tears when I saw them yesterday. It’s such a rare treat for me to see the moments I feel everyday, captured. I do my best with my own camera to savor these memories but there’s no way for me accurately capture scenes like me reading to the boys at night the way Lauren did. I’m humbled to have these gifts. Life moves so fast right now it feels like a blur and to be able to sit and see stills of our everyday… just, wow.

So yea, check out Cleobella even if it’s not within your means it was fun for me to drool over there beautiful designs and then nurse my 105 degree baby fever when I saw there Bella baby line (heart achy) so so beautiful!

xxoo

Reading: The Scottish Chiefs

Something

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This morning as I was making Tristan his oatmeal before school, out of nowhere he said…

“A little bit of something is enough.”

I stopped and turned around to let it sink in as he giggled. Must be something he heard at school and I couldn’t think of a better way to start today.

A little bit of something IS enough!

Beautiful words from the mouth of a babe.