Today is our first full day of summer break. I’d be lying if I said my nervousness didn’t equal my excitement. It takes several weeks for the boys to adjust back to life full time together that makes it especially hard around here.
It’s been an interesting season of reflection and tackling old projects. Almost as if I’m subconsciously pushing out the old to make room for…? More good.
A friend sent me this article this morning and I’m overwhelmed by how accurate it explains what I’ve been learning over the past few years. Not a popular topic but something I think should be talked about more. Personality disorders and relational abuse. I wish I was better at articulating these things but feel grateful for the people who do and do it well. I’m planing on making a list of books and resources that have helped me learn to identify unhealthy relationship patterns. The least I can do is pass on what’s helped me understand myself and those around me better because I know I’m not alone in this. Truth is I’ve grown into adulthood believing what I feel and need isn’t important only meeting the desires of others is. So not only learning to say “no” learning when I WANT to say “no”. Identifying my basic needs and desires has been one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced. Such irony!
This week I’ve been taking the goats to the woods to forage since my fence doesn’t reach all the way back. It’s been so eye opening to sit there with my quilting and watch them mow through the brush while the boys swing on the wild vines. As I sat in the shade with a spoon and half a watermelon the other day I was overwhelmed by what surrounded. My yard is beautiful with the most peaceful view and at least half a dozen large shade trees. A beautiful small brick home that rents about the same as a one bedroom appartment in the city. Life isn’t easy and more often than not I heap more work on myself than necessary but man we’re so blessed. Seeking to truly embrace all this beauty and let my heart settle here.